Heart Led Health by Coach Donna
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Tuesday / July 31 / 2012

When it’s okay to deceive your spouse

The look on Hubs' face when confronted with my deception...
The look on Hubs’ face when confronted with my deception…

I have a confession to make. For the past two-and-a-half months, I have been lying to my husband. It hasn’t been easy, mind you. Skip-n-I share everything. We keep no secrets. None.

Except for this one. And friends, it was a big one…

This year, my husband turned 50.

As in, “half a century”. And with the covert help of our friend Bruce Lant, I planned a huge surprise party.

The inside jokes accumulated along the way are too vast to count, but our clandestine scheming proved successful as Skip was utterly astonished. 

The befuddled look on his face was proof positive as he walked unsuspectingly into Bruce’s back yard, toting his musical gear to what he thought was a small, casual get together of fellow musicians.

“SURPRISE!”, was all he heard as he did his best to survey his worlds colliding: family, childhood buddies, colleagues, friends from church, fellow musicians, and high school classmates.

The next eight hours delivered at least a dozen variations of bands, a special Whitney Houston song by our daughter Brittany, a canoe full of beer, several highly competitive volleyball games, traditional shots of Jameson, water pistol battles, cupcake kisses from our grandson Brody, and many, many “Over The Hill” jokes and gag gifts.

My favorite comment on the photo album I posted on Facebook was, “I can’t believe you booked him for his own party! LOL!

By the time we tucked the sun in for the evening, more than 40 people had shared their affection and birthday wishes.

The love poured-out in heaping measure was a beautiful thing for a wife to witness. Several times, I found myself simply watching. I watched friends, old and new, embrace my husband and tell him how important his life is to this world. I watched Hubs try to soak it all in, still flabbergasted with the turnout of so many who care about him. It was sublime.

NEVER is it okay to deceive your spouse or significant otherunless… it’s to surprise him with the likes of a celebration of life.

I, for one, am just glad to be back to sharing everything with my cherished lover, best friend, and soul mate. Life just doesn’t get any better than embracing life with one you adore.

Happy 50th Birthday, Baby! I love you.

10 responses to “When it’s okay to deceive your spouse”

  1. Michelle says:

    I had a 65th surprise party for my hubby last year. An intimate dinner party at a fancy restaurant, with his 3 sisters and their spouses, a couple of high school friends, college roommates and our closest couple friends. I understand that feeling of pure joy seeing him with dear friends old and new. He still talks about how special the night was and I’m so glad I decided to splurge on him!

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Oh, how delightful, Michelle! He remembers it so fondly because you didn’t simply give him a ‘thing’, you created an experience for him. What a beautiful gift.


  2. Sheryl says:

    It was not my spouse but rather my adult son.

    Through quite a few not exactly truthful statements,
    I was able to pull off a very short notice surprise party for him.

    He is currently working out of state so I had to travel 3 hours just to see him, and then with the supporting shenanigans of his supervisor we not only got him out of his work building but when he came back in had the entire cast and crew of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels sing to him.

    I don’t think there could have been a more appropriate show playing that night!

    He is leaving the country for a year so I had to do something memorable and I think I did it! Once he got his composure and all the blushing out of his face he did hug me and tell me thanks.

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Wow… what a tremendous send-off, Sheryl! His buddies will chide him about that for weeks — and HE will blush and smile a “thanks” for you for weeks of weeks of weeks!


  3. Sue Mills says:

    Donna, you did a great job, he really looked like he enjoyed himself. I had a great time too, you two deserve the best. love Sue Mills

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Sue Mills… I adore you! I am SO thankful you were able to be such a beautiful part of Skip’s big surprise. Thank you!


  4. Debbie says:

    Awesome!! The photos are great too. What a fun celebration!!

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Thank you, Debbie. It truly was a beautiful celebration of Skip’s life, with so many people who love him!


  5. Dawn says:

    I am SOOOOO sorry we missed the celebration of the life of a wonderful man!! Our thoughts were with you all as you partied and it is nice to now be able to say somthing, I didn’t post anything so as not to ruin a wonderful surprise…nice job my friend.

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Thanks for helping keep the secret, Dawnie! We missed you but hope to see you guys soon.


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