Sunday / February 25 / 2018
Out of hiding
I was 11 years old when I created the concept for my first book, determined to pour out my heart with fierce vulnerability and candor. I wanted to invite others to do the same, assuring them, “You’re not alone!” Likely, it was the true birthplace of The You Evolution™
For many reasons, the book dream died there (at least that one). My mind drowned itself with doubt and very expertly talked me out of the idea, “No one cares what you have to say, Donna! You’re just a child. Do you KNOW how many books there are that everyone will want to read before picking up your stupid book? You’re irrelevant, nothing special. Whatever you think you have to say has already been said (and better, by the way) Besides, you don’t know the first thing about writing a book.”
Have you ever done that? Talked yourself out of a tugging of your heart? Not necessarily writing a book but perhaps, learning how to sail, or, teaching Spanish to elementary students, realizing your dream of becoming a missionary, getting certified as a yoga instructor, finally opening that quirky gift shop with your sister or, painting, crocheting, molding, creating something.
There is a certain curse to being born a writer, a torture in our art. It’s personal. Provocative. Also, therapeutic, selfish, necessary. It’s not just survival, it’s thriving. It is healing.
I wrote A LOT when I launched The You Evolution™, often wanting to publish several times a day. When Life started getting in the way and my “happily ever after” marriage of two decades began unraveling, most of my blogs never saw daylight and frankly, there was a darkening of sorts.
If you’re a reader, you know my posts are pretty raw to begin with. In the darkening, I began to write even more intimately. Deep, uncooked, icky mud, “is this really me?” stuff I couldn’t (wouldn’t) publish. Those posts were just for me and I needed them. They were a lifeline and simultaneously, it was challenging to watch my public posting deteriorate.
But, I don’t want to die!
Rising from the ashes, I refuse to squelch my profoundly rooted penchant to write. I’m rediscovering my voice. Or perhaps, I’m straight up discovering it for the first time. In any case, I’m writing more and indeed, need to press, “Publish” more.
My writer friend aptly puts it like this, “Writing is the exposure of one’s soul. The feeling we get after hitting, “Publish” (and allowing our words to not only be viewed, but judged) is terrifying yet liberating with a smidge of excitement.”
I don’t mind the terror when it comes with liberation and excitement. Do you? Well, I mind a little! But as ice hockey legend Wayne Gretzky reminds us, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” And you know, ice hockey just isn’t ice hockey without blood, bruising, and defensive checking.
Dare I say, neither is Life.
So, go ahead, check me against the boards, Life. Give it your best shot. I assure you, bloodied and bruised, the fire within me cannot be doused. It’s my lifeblood.
I’m out of hiding and so happy to have met the most important person in my life. Me.
I invite you to join me on your own journey of self discovery. Let’s do it together, okay?
Welcome to The You Evolution™.