Heart Led Health by Coach Donna

Wednesday / November 23 / 2011

Sperm or egg a parent does not make

My loves, my children, Brittany and Grant (September 2011)
My loves, my children, Brittany and Grant (September 2011)

Sperm or egg a parent does not make. How do I know? I have children. Yet, I’ve never given birth.

Grant, now 27, was my first. If I could wrap love in bacon and sauté it to perfection, that would be my son.

Grant captured my heart from the very first moment I met him. He was seven-years-old.

Those big brown eyes drew me in and enveloped me forever in a place I never even knew existed.

Grant is the reason I was first fulfilled as a mother. He gifted me with a love I cannot otherwise explain. He gave me reason to smile when the whole world was turned upside down. Who else can do that but a son?

Never a “step”, I was fully devoted to Grant as my son, and he to me as his Mom. We still are.

How grateful I am.

So what does a parent make? Late nights holding a cool cloth to a fevered head. Calloused knees from prayer. Hope for a future. Worry. Dreams beyond measure. Tear-stained cheeks when others wound their hearts. Embraced imperfection. Selflessness. Pushing, just a little harder than they’d like. Pride in who they are, despite how differently they look than you’d imagined.

And love. Pure, unadulterated, unconditional love.

For me, it’s the innate, innermost piece of me that wants nothing but the very best for my children. The willingness to put them first so they can achieve their potential. If you are a parent (step or otherwise) you know what I mean. They are sunshine. They are exhausting! They are Christmas.

Grant and Brittany are the reason I am a Mom.

The one thing I hope resonates in their hearts forever, it’s what they’ve heard me say a thousand times, “There is nothing you can say or do that will make me love you any more …or any less.”

That, my friends, is parenting. That is family.

Family is who you adopt and choose to love for all time, regardless of the circumstances, the bloodline, or what comes and goes.

I love my family.

I love all that family represents. If God gave me anything to be thankful for… it’s my family.

Happy Thanksgiving, all.


10 responses to “Sperm or egg a parent does not make”

  1. Sara Mannix says:

    Well put my friend!

  2. Dawn says:

    And a GREAT mom you are!! Thanks for sharing, it isn’t just what we do that makes us moms, it’s who we are. As a mom to a precious angel here on earth and a precious angel in heaven I have been reminded over and over that LOVE makes a parent, and as you say, and I so agree, unconditional love at that.

    I can totally relate to that “step” word too as I have a SISTER who I love dearly and she has never been a “step” to me.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family (all of them).

    Love ya,

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Thank you! You, too, are a GREAT Mom, Dawnie. And you’re right, it’s who we are and how we love that make the difference – to ALL our angels. xo

      Love to you and yours,

  3. Rainey says:

    You are an amazing Mom…. happy thanksgiving

  4. Rachael Shorr says:

    well…now I am crying! Hope you had a WONDERFUL thanksgiving with that beautiful and wonderful family you have!!! Love you!2

  5. Grant says:

    Sometimes I try to think about where I’d be without you, but I stop because it’s just too scary to imagine. It’s not too fun to think about. Family is built around love and shared experience, and I’m glad we have both.

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      So beautifully said, Grant. It’s too scary for me to imagine my life without you too, son. I’m glad we have each other. You are my heart.


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